Friday, September 27, 2013

Humorless Internet Commenter: The Atheist

As everybody knows by know, atheists are the smartest people on the planet.  Their exceeding intelligence allows them to operate on a plane of existence far superior to those idiots that place their hope in a hollow God.  In my opinion, the best atheists are the ones that spend their days on the Internet looking for intellectually inferior people of faith and take the time to point out how stupid they are.  Is there anything more persuasive than an intellectually bully?  The Bible, of course, but that is a discussion for another day.

As a person of deep faith, I often find myself participating in discussions on the Internet that allow me to express my deep belief in a higher power.  More often than not, however, I am ruthlessly attacked by rugged empiricists, who seem hell bent on pointing out how stupid I am. 

Today, Gawker posted some atheistic drivel that I had no choice but to smack down with a well thought out comment:

Yeah, lets go apply rugged empirical science to miracles. The whole point of miracles is that they defy science. Typical atheist. Why not write a whole book about how the Titanic couldn't sink, when it actually did?
Dear reader, it was not long before I was beset by a marauding crew of highly-intelligent atheists, who seemed like nothing short of my early demise would assuage their blood lust.   ATHFD2P, in particular, seemed very upset with my take on the nature of things:
Miracles don't defy science. The miracles you read about in the bible never happened. If Christianity is true, than all other religions are true. The theory that the only true religion is Christianity is a joke. There are no spirits, there are no gods.
I do not like tautological arguments, of which this comment is the perfect example.  So, I had no choice but to refute him:
Sorry, you are wrong.
However, this apparently was not enough for this crazed zealot, who insisted on attacking me with a passion totally disproportionate to your humble author (but fortunately impotent when compared to the One). It turns out the commenter really was really just helping me:
Not angry. Your attempt at giving me "proof" was a joke. Just trying to educate on opening your mind to truth instead of religious strangulation.
And isn't this just the thing. Atheists are here to help us. But I say no thanks.  I have my God and that is all I really need.