Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Letter To Kim Kardashian From Desperate Mother

As you may have heard by now, a letter has surfaced that a mother sent to Kim Kardashian. The letter is drawing some criticism, as not everyone has the talent to be a Kim Kardashian, and some feel that the mother is better of settling for what she has. Anyway, here is the letter, and you can be the judge:

Dear Kim: I write to you out of both a sense of frustration and desperation. I am hoping you can help. I have a thirteen year-old daughter. We can call her Mary. I am worried about Mary and her future. She seems to be going down the wrong path. As you are a successful woman in America, I am hoping you might be willing to give me some advice about her. 
Mary is a sophomore in High School. She skipped a grade when she was eight, because of her exceptional academics. Mary still continues to do well in school. In fact, she is at the top of her class. Mary does not have many friends because of her hard work. She spends her time studying and tells me she wants to be a doctor when she grows up. I am concerned about this. She seems to be working too hard and trying to make it all on her own. She is inquisitive, a voracious reader, and plays chess competitively. However, I am sure she has never kissed a boy. 
Mary's father died when she was young. I have raised her alone. We were poor for a long time, even living on Food Stamps. Mary has never complained about this fact. She wears hand me downs from cousins. However, she seems unconcerned with how she looks! The other day she went to school with a torn shirt. I begged her to take it off, but she would not. I am no match for her wit. She is captain of her debate team. Mary also helps out with the bills, as she babysits on the weekend and gives me all her earnings. 
You may now be starting to see my point. I am concerned that Mary is not going to make it in life. Sure, she may become a doctor, because of her hard work, and she may save some lives. But, she may never have her own fashion line! Imagine if she never got on television. What would people think of me as a mother?!? 
I have followed your career since you first broke into the scene with your home movie. I have watched you go from a nobody to a famous star. You are engaged to the Kanye and will bear his child. You are rich and can afford to do anything to your body, should you find any inadequacy. You also show a lack of inquisitiveness and intelligence that I wish my daughter had. She spends all her time reading. Maybe I should have given her a sister. It is obvious what wonders family has done for you. 
I am thinking about getting a video recorder and encouraging Mary to get a boyfriend. I know she is a virgin. Do you think this is too much? She is a very attractive girl and I suspect people would like to watch her movie, just like they did yours. I have not talked with Mary about it. I think she might even be a lesbian. God forbid! 
I know you are very busy with all the fashion and basketball games you go to. But I am hoping you could give this desperate mom advice. Do you think I should make a movie like yours with her? I do not mean like you in the all the holes, but maybe something more restrained? I just do not know any other way that I can help her forgo a long life of hard work and self-reliance. I do not want that for my daughter, just as I suspect you would not want if or yours. 
Thank you for listening to me. Hopefully, you can help me save my daughter. Sincerely,

Ms. Desperate

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