Monday, December 10, 2012

This Week's Humorless Internet Commenter: That's No Black Hole

At the suggestion of a reader, I have decided that I will feature a weekly humorless Internet commenter. I posted something last week about the humorless Internet commenter and I only think it is fair to provide ample illustration.

This comment was from a while back, but it really is great. I had posted some absurd comment about Lance Armstrong on a Gawker article. Here is the comment:
If I was Armstrong, I would continue to use steroids with the view of shrinking my one remaining testicle to the point of such density it becomes a black hole. I would be very quiet about it, and then go to court with pull away anti-black hole pants and a Speedo underneath. Once the evidence and the witnesses were revealed, I would tear off my anti-black hole pants and suck everyone in the courtroom into my testicular black hole. I would then cut off the remaining testicle and leave it in the courtroom. The trick would be that to an observer the trial would still be going on, as the light escaping the black hole would portray the trial as continuing. By the time anybody figured it out, I would be in Mexico. The evidence and the witnesses would be destroyed. After a while, things would cool down, and I could come back and still enjoy being the 7 time Tour de France winner.
Now, who would respond to a comment like that one seriously? Well, Orangutorange did. In response to someone saying it was a great comment, he/she said:
Except for the part where a black hole has gravitational pull in proportion to its mass. Just because it's infinitely dense doesn't mean it is also infinitely massive.
Yes, certainly the most ridiculous thing about my comment was the physical properties of the black hole.

And that is the humorless Internet commenter of the week.

1 comment:

  1. This "humorless commenter of the week" feature, however short lived, was a spectacular idea. I'm glad I at least came across it now and can enjoy what came of it!

    By the way, what are you doing with your extra time now? Have you found greener pastures?