What is more American than Texas high school football? Nothing, you say? Wrong! Slavery is more American! "Slavery," you might say, "What is that Maury? I have never heard of it." Well reader, let me explain. Many years ago the United States was torn apart by a war. It is often referred to as the Civil War. This pitted the northern states, also referred to by historians as the Communist states, against the southern states, also known as the inspiration for every Norman Rockwell painting. Here is why the war happened:
America, for the most part, was built by slaves. These slaves were torn from their horrible and abusive families in Africa and sent on a lovely cruise to the United States. Here, they were fortunate to be mentored by White Southerners. The North was upset because the South had a lot more slaves than it did. The North wanted more slaves but the South wanted to keep them all. This gave the South what the North thought was an unfair advantage in industry and also kept the country dependent upon agriculture. But most of all, the North was jealous of the all the special friendships that were occurring between slaves and their masters. Many great Americas, Thomas Jefferson for instance, loved their slaves so much they decided to impregnate them and make those babies slaves, too.
Rather than getting their own slaves, the North created false rumors about slavery and started to demonize it. It is very similar to what women did to men in the 1950's and 1960's, when they were jealous of men and decided the only way to deal with it was the destruction of the nuclear family. Anyway, war broke out between the North and the South. (Spoiler Alert: Don't read any further, if you plan on ever reading a book and want the end of the war to be a surprise). The South lost and the North has been rubbing it in the South's face ever since. Slavery was abolished and loving and lasting relationships that spanned centuries were destroyed.
Let us jump to today. In some places in the South, people are still upset about the how the war turned out. Through oral tradition, the story of the war has passed from father to mother to cousin/mother to father/brother back to son and sometimes to sister. Pride in their ancestry has caused some people to display the old flag of the South. As you can see (pictured above), the flag is much simpler than the current US Flag. The two lines stand for the intersection of the two races in the South. They symbolize the harmony achieved as they cross each other and signify that together the two races built this great country. Historians today do not know what the thirteen stars symbolize, but some believe they stand for the thirteen virtues agreed upon by slaves and their masters, some of which are: brotherhood, loyalty, and awesomeness.
Well, the North will not stand for this flag. It reminds them of the time when it was the black sheep of this country. They have pushed in every state to have the flag banned and to erase the idyllic history of years ago. This was recently done in Texas, where a school board held in a 5-2 vote that the school could no longer waive the great flag at sporting events. Apparently, liberal elites got upset when some young mirthful teenagers revived the old Southern tradition of writing racial slurs on a black teacher's door and then urinating all over it, something that little white scholars used to do all the time.
It is a sad day when a country has to forget it's wonderful past. A mother at the school, while on her knees trying to burden the overwhelming weight of modern day liberalism, asked, "Can't I be proud of my Southern heritage?" The North says no to you, great southern mom! But, let us hope that when she took her young impressionable children home that night, she lit a fire and gathered her children close to her, and told them of the wonderful slave owning utopia that the South used to be.