Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Really Sucks That Eagle Video Is Fake

I am not sure I can take it anymore. The Internet has distorted the line between what is true and what is not true so much, I am left knowing nothing. Just google 9/11 and you will find nobody knows what happened on that date. Or try to find out it Obama's a citizen and you will find that nobody knows! Next thing you will tell me is that Kennedy was killed by a lone gunman and Beowulf is the Yeti. What is the point of learning anything anymore, when there is no truth?

I think the hammer in the coffin for me was the revelation that the video of a baby being snatched away by an eagle was fake. I wept. Why would someone make such a great fake video? Why did it have to be fake? Never in my life did I want a baby to abducted by a massive raptor as much as I did today, except for maybe once back in 1983.

I think the Internet all agrees that it is a real shame that the baby was not stolen by the bird. But it begs the question: Is what I am actually looking at real? When I look out my window is that actually there? Nobody can tell me for sure! Maybe I am not even who I think I am. I will tell you this, whatever epistemological certainty I had this morning vanished, when I learned that baby wasn't eaten by an eagle. Parents, look into yourself. Look at your family. Are they really there? Is any of this real?


  1. For some reason, this whole incident reminded me of the tsetse flies capable of carrying off beautiful, brown babies with impunity under the protection of the Guacamole Act of 1917.

  2. Haha, this is so awesome. Thanks. Great way to start my morning. I totally forgot about this scene.